username (username) wrote,

Things to do to Fez when is asleep

1) Eat
2) Oggle his well defined scrotum
3) Rub his genitals while doing #2
4) Hang with Mert while doing #2
5) Play with anything you can get your hands on... like Fez's scrotum
6) Make sculptures with stuff... like Fez's scrotum
7) Make snide remarks about stuff... like Fez's scrotum
8) If called upon to speak, spout the most assinine stuff you can think of.. FEZ HAS A HUGE NUT SACK!!!!
9) Do #3 some more and #8
10) Do #3 to the Mert
11) Write essay on the relative humidity of Fez's scrotum versus that of the Alaskan Field Grousse and have room for bibliography.
12) Get in some boxing speed bag training when his legs hang over the edge of the bed.
13) Spank yourself in the ass and say "Who's yer daddy?" over and over while he lays oblivious to your looming body standing above him legs straddling his limp form.
14) Grab his free pillow and beat him with it till he wakes up
15) Give him his glasses so he can see who it is beating him
16) Lay down next to him and hump his leg madly like some coked up ressus monkey.
17) repeat until he cries
18) Tell him you love him, and that you do it "because" you love him. This has the side affect of making him question why he likes you to begin with.
19) Take your 3 year old daughter and throw her at him while he sleeps.
20) Remind yourself that he REALLY likes when you do that.

LOVE THE FEZ, LOVE HIM TILL HE BLEEDS.. and not in the way that he likes.

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